


Making Memories Along the Way

by stupidbadgers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post Season 8, angst will happen later, idk when it's set really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:24:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4071760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidbadgers/pseuds/stupidbadgers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean finally stopped kidding himself after accidentally admitting his feelings to Cas over a cup of coffee. After confessions of love, the two settle into their new relationship, making memories along the way. But when the unthinkable happens, the limits of their profound bond are tested.</p>
<p>*on hiatus until further notice. apologies. visit my blog (stupidbadgers.tumblr.com) if you have questions. thanks :)*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Memories Along the Way

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic that I've posted and my first Destiel fic ever. I hope y'all like it. I'm going to go hide now...

As much as Cas was an Angel, he was no longer an Angel of the Lord. He had spent enough time down on Earth and experiencing human things that he just wasn’t one of “them” anymore.

Cas doesn't like to be away from Dean for too long anyway. It makes him anxious, a feeling he never experienced before. He also knows how Dean gets when he's away.

Dean, against his control, starts fretting. At that point he wonders when the hell did I start fretting? But his subconscious knows that he frets because he's worried about Cas. Heaven is no longer a safe haven for Cas. No, his Cas' safe haven is anywhere Dean is (he knows that because Cas told him) and when the fuck did he start referring to him as his Cas? Shaking his head, he resigns himself as a sentimental dick.

He might have admitted his feelings to himself (let's face it, he admitted them years ago) but every time Dean had tried to say something to Cas his tongue went dry and he couldn't do much more than become a bumbling idiot. Cas, for his part at least, either hadn't noticed, or he was polite enough to not laugh in Dean's face.

Then one morning Dean woke up to the smell of coffee brewing, a normal occurrence as Cas had figured out how to use the coffeemaker. Apparently coffee did not taste too much like molecules because Cas drank a lot of coffee. Dean wandered to the kitchen in his usual attire - boxers, t-shirt, and robe - and sat at the small, metal table. Stretching, he yawned, then folded his arms on the table and his head down. He felt the table shift as weight pressed on the other side. Lifting his head, he saw that Cas had a hot cup of coffee in his hand, stretched out towards Dean. Grateful for the dark, hot liquid, Dean grabbed it, taking a giant gulp.

Intending to quietly say thank you, Dean instead murmured, "I love you Cas.”

Dean froze as he realised that the words that came out of his mouth were not what he meant to say. Cas, unfortunately, had decided to take a sip of his coffee. After the words left Dean's mouth, Cas nearly choked on his own coffee.

Dean was still frozen, green eyes wide as he figured out how to take back what he said.

After recovering from choking, Cas looked into Dean's wide green eyes, his own blue eyes piercing the man across from him. With a matter of fact tone, Cas said, "I love you too Dean."

At this point, Dean’s mind was racing, wondering how Cas meant love. Did he mean brotherly love or love love?

“Cas I-I..” Dean stuttered.

“I do hope that you are not intending to take back those words, Dean Winchester, as I've been wanting to say those exact words to you for a very long time.” Cas said simply, his eyes full of love and admiration for the man sitting across from him.

Dean’s green eyes widened, the pupil growing. A pink flush settled over his face as the Angel’s words settled into his brain. He had two choices: he could either deny his feelings, Cas’ feelings and words, and play it cool like an ass. Or he could finally be truthful with himself and take a chance on being happy.

Dean decided to take the leap of faith he had been trying to convince himself to take since he realised he was in love with Cas, “I couldn’t if I tried.”

Cas smiled, a genuine gummy smile, one that rarely showed on his face (and was usually caused by something Dean said or did) and Dean knew that he would survive that leap and everything that came with it.

“That is the best thing I have ever heard,” Cas said, blue eyes shining. He slid his hand across the table, palm up, begging to be held.

Dean’s own green eyes held Cas’ as he put his hand in Cas’, the warm, strong fingers squeezing Dean’s. A comfortable silence settled over them, a calm in the air.

Shaking his head, Dean brought his head back into the present. That morning in the kitchen had only been a few months ago and he was still adjusting to his new relationship with Cas. The switch from being best friends to something more was smooth, easy, and mostly unnoticed. Together they shared private moments: lazy kisses, foreheads touching, hands curled together; if Sam noticed the two of them sitting even closer, eyes gazing more intently than before (to which he wondered if that was even possible), well, he didn’t mention it to anyone, but smiled when one would leave the room and the other followed suit after counting to five.

Dean looked up towards the ceiling, wishing Cas would come back down from Heaven. He hadn’t said why he was going there, only that Hannah had used Angel Radio to call him up there. It made him antsy, not knowing why Cas was there. Dean thought he would never trust Heaven. It hadn’t done him any good before he knew it existed and it especially hadn’t done any good after. No, Heaven brought him pain and was a pain in the ass more often than not. Standing up from the table in the library, he began pacing. Slowing his breathing and steps to the same speed, he did as Cas had instructed him numerous times before when he was starting to worry himself into an anxiety attack: Dean began recalling his good memories.

When he worried about Cas, Dean always went straight into his good memories of the Angel, even when he wasn’t an Angel. Unlocking that niche in his mind, Dean let the soothing tide rush over him, a smile coming to his face as he began recalling each memory, one by one.

First were Cas’ eyes, the bluest eyes he had ever seen, sometimes glowing with Angel grace. Dean could stare into his Angel’s eyes for as long as time and still find them the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. They were brighter than any star and held so many more words than any language could ever try to speak.

Next was the memory of their first kiss. It had happened a month after Dean’s accidental declaration of love. The kiss had also been accidental; the two men had been cuddling on the couch (because let’s face it, Dean loved cuddling with Cas) ending their Star Wars marathon when Dean went press a lazy kiss to Cas’ cheek. Cas had decided at that moment to turn his head to ask Dean a question. Their lips met, their eyes flying open, but not moving from their current positions. After the initial shock, they began relaxing into each other. Cas’ lips were slightly chapped but warm against Dean’s. The kiss deepened, Dean parting his lips to allow Cas further entrance into his mouth. Cas did the same in response. He tasted of beer and popcorn (which he had only because Dean was eating it) but mostly he just tasted of Cas, a flavour that intoxicated Dean more than the alcohol. When the two finally parted, they were breathing heavily, heads spinning. They never moved more than an inch apart, their breaths mingling between them. This was one of Dean’s favourite memories.

The next memory that came was from their first meeting. Dean smiles as he remembers being in the barn with Bobby (his heart aches a little from missing his surrogate father), signals covering the walls as the whole building shook, wind whipping through. He remembers the banging and clattering and swears that Cas must have had a hard time landing. And then there he was, Angel of the Lord standing straight and tall, walking towards them. Then Dean had to go and shoot him. And stab him. But there stood Castiel, wings outstretched, full of power and grace. Dean wondered if perhaps that was the first time he fell in love with him.

His breathing under control and anxiety firmly back in its box, Dean tucked all of his precious memories back in to their spots and sealed the door. He had a place for everything in his mind and nothing could be out of place. Sitting back down at the table, he thought about their case, anything to take his mind from worrying about Cas.

**Author's Note:**

> to be continued...
> 
> Please let me know what you think! :)


End file.
